We ask our children questions ALL the time. Are you hungry? Did you brush your teeth? Have you finished your math? WHY are you jumping on your brother!?
Sometimes being asked so many questions bogs down an adult mind, but kids are different. They need to ask questions, and be asked questions for their minds to grow. Asking questions intentionally can be a wonderful parenting strategy.
1) What makes you feel loved? / How did I make you feel loved today?
This is the number one way to get to your kid’s heart, and the surest way to figure out their love language. (If you have never heard of love languages, read this book please!) My two that are old enough to talk are close in age, but vastly different in what fills their love tank. One is a physical touch person, so she always says: ” When you hold me.” or “When you kiss me.” My other child is a quality time person. He says, “When you play with me.” or “When you did ____ with me.”
2) What makes your heart happy?
This is different from feeling loved. Heart happiness is a true joy that allows for an attitude of gratitude. We try to ask our kids this every day, because there are always moments that bring you joy and make your heart smile even in the most trying of times. I want to train them to LOOK for them, and to count their blessings always. Thinking about what moments brought you happiness throughout the day is the beginning of this training. Sometimes it is something like an epic Nerf war or something silly we did. Other times it is something we learned or read together. Their answers often surprise me. The simplest things fill their little hearts, and hearing what they come up with fills mine. 🙂
3) What made you laugh today?
Laughter truly is the best medicine! It lifts our spirits and makes us forget our troubles. Asking your children what made them laugh is a good way to get everyone laughing at the dinner table. Hearing their sweet silly stories, or what their friends did is such a heart warming time. It gets you into their world and lets you experience things (even if you witnessed the incident) from their vantage point. Making this question a table-time tradition has been a unifying thing for our family.
4) How did you see God today?
This is a BIG question, that often leads to other questions. How did you see God moving? Did you witness someone being His hands and feet? What did He say to you personally? What did you learn about Him that drew you closer to Him? How did you see Him, or know Him today?
This is something that needs to be trained as well. Looking for and seeking after God is so imperative to knowing Him! I want my children to get a grasp on being still and knowing He is in control, and expecting to see Him move in their lives and even in their days. He is our ever present help, and I want them to have witnessed Him in action each day before they leave our home.
If this is a difficult question for your children to answer, start by telling them how YOU saw God moving in your life today. Tell them how you find ways to be still and know Him more, and how you seek Him each day. If you are struggling in this area, HERE is a Bible study that will get you into a bit of His truth in moments each day.
Don’t skip this one! Their insight on how their creator is working in their little lives, and their receptiveness to Him will amaze you!
5) Do you know how much I love you?
This is one we ask every day without fail. Our days are numbered, and we don’t know how many more times we will get to remind them just how very much their mama loves them. I want them to KNOW (that they know, that they know, that they are really very truly sure) that I love them, and that the only one who loves them MORE than me is God. That is one security I want them to have long after I am gone.
What questions do you ask your kids every day? What would you add to my list?
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