Which came first, the homeschool – or the coffee?
I’ll let you decide.
Sometimes you just need some coffee. And a mug to remind you why you started this whole homeshcooling gig in the first place.
I mean, can one really be homeschooling without a homeschool mom mug?
It’s totally a right of passiage, so if you are a homeschool mama – let us know which mug is you!
The Curriculum Junkie
So you have a few books, and then you bought more – and suddenly your husband is signing you up for book hoarders anonymous.
It’s not like you really have a problem. You can stop anytime you want. I mean, everyone has a full blown library in their closet, right?
All of your curriculum is purchased and set up for the year…
Wait, is that a NEW CURRICULUM!?
The Anti-Social
Everyone knows homeschoolers are weird and unsocialized. I mean, they NEVER attend co-ops or learn with their friends. No joint field trips, play groups, or P.E.
There’s just no time with all the learning that must be done because it really takes 8 hours a day to teach a 5 year old Kindergarten. No time. No opportunity.
Plus, homeschoolers secretly want their children to be friendless…. which brings us to:
The Second Generationist
The only real reason to homeschool is because you were homeschooled yourself.
If you survived being homeschooled – you obviously will homeschool your 10 kids in the same manner.
As a second gen. homeschooler, you know full well the mug requirement. You can’t teach your children without a homeschool mom mug.
You also have the homeschool t-shirt, the embroidered denim jumper, and the fanny pack. #winning
The Hot-Mess Express
You might have just started homeschooling. You might simply never have your “stuff” together.
Actually, if you plan to keep homeschooling you will never have your stuff together again. Like ever.
Might as well own it and graciously gift yourself the title of “Chaos Coordinator.” It sounds so put together.
You also need the official mug as a reward.
The Grammar Police
In order to be a homeschool mom, you have to be a grammar expert. Spelling, math, science, social studies knowledge must be proven by exam prior to acceptable homeschool mom status.
But grammar is the most important.
You must tout your grammar expertise by correcting friend and stranger alike. Please send me emails critiquing my blatant faux pas of the written word.
I have really only written this to distinguish between the real homeschool moms and the wanna bees….
The Survivor
Whether the homeschool students are melting down or the teacher, you preserver. You survive, one messed up science experiment at a time.
No mid-year curriculum change or unenthused homeschooler is slowing you down.
You are coming out on the other side surviving this thing.
The Conference Call
Everyone needs a break, including homeschool moms. This problem comes from being torn in between parent and teacher.
No parent can be teacher and parent at the same time. Pshh Parents don’t teach.
Every child learns nothing until formal public education occurs. They magically learn how to eat, walk, and potty train on their own. Then public school teachers to the rescue!
Wait… I am late for my conference call with myself. I can’t cancel it again…
Ode to Coffee
Let’s all take a moment to give thanks for the fuel that runs us and our homeschools.
I shall sing an ode to coffee: Coffee, coffee, coffee. Coffee COFFEE, coffee. Some like it hot, some like it cold. Some like it in the microwave found 9 times later.
Can you homeschool without coffee? Probably – but I wouldn’t try it.
The Essential Oiler
Lavendar on your pillow. Lavender in your soap. Lavender on your kids.
It can seriously ward off disease, focus your kiddoes, and keep you calm so you can homeschool on.
You do infomercials for essential oil called “keep calm,” “ninja focus,” and “virus proof” in your non-existent spare homeschool mom time.
It’s all apart of the lesson plan. You can check business and economics off the list right now.
Keep on keeping on, homeschool style.
Related: 7 Secret Homeschooling Mom Routines that Saved my Sanity
The Type – A
You have orchestrated the homeschool mom awards ceremony 4 years in a row now. All of the awards are held to the highest standard, and no mail-in ballots are accepted.
Award recipients have an ongoing list of duties and expectations that require extreme government oversight. Candidates must be both teacher nominated and approved.
With that being said, the vote is in. You were the best homeschool teacher in your homeschool this year! No one saw that coming…
The Realist
Let’s be real up in here. You are the truely the okayest homeschool mom. The okayest teacher can still have successful students, and you are no exception.
It’s okay to be okay – okay?
The Fearless
You can’t scare a mom who is solely responsible for teaching her kid everything they will need to know in life. Ever.
Nothing quite measures up to that level of daunting. Homeschool moms actually can’t feel fear.
They never lie awake at night stewing over their curriculum decisions, co-op choices, or the annual homeschool mom awards.
Nope. They are all anti-social curriculum junkies, remember?
The Blame-shiftier
If anything goes wrong in your homeschool, you know just whom to blame.
It’s all his fault anyway, that infamous disrupter of seriousness – a.k.a. Daddy.
The homeschool dad is solely responsible for anything that goes aerie in the homeschool situation. You know who to blame. They were doomed from the start.
The Stickler
I feel as though this one explains itself..
You aren’t messing around here.
You know it. Your kids know it. The neighbors kids are slightly terrified of it.
You’re children might not be privy to it now, but they are gonna thank you in their Harvard graduation speech.
These hard drill sergeant days are tough now, but this mug will get you through until Harvard alumni happens.
The Class Clown
So you have never grown out of it.
But now you are the homeschool teacher. Keep it together clown. Keep it together.
At least you can impress your kids with your uncanny ability to turn unwanted assignments into paper Boeing 747s.
You will always have that.
The Gabber
Kids need recess for their physical growth, development, and mental clarity.
You can’t help if all your friends from co-op need to chat on a Tuesday. I mean the well-being of your children is at stake here.
Shhh…. mommy’s on the phone kids! RECESS time for your own good.
Mama knows best.
The Conspiracy Theorist
Ain’t no way the village is going to get your kids. Not on your watch.
You are prepared for the Apocalypse – TP stash and all. Your homeschool is no exception.
Is someone needs a cure for the swine flu, you’ve got them covered with your top secret essential oil concoction.
You own extra copies of every book that could possibly be banned since 1998.
Plus when the shelves are bare, you can spare a square.
The Substitute Tapper-inner
Everyone knows homeschool moms only homeschool because of the awesome plethora of substitute teachers at their disposal.
When all else fails… tap in the ultimate substitute – Youtube.
ALEXA!!
The Truly Amazing Mama
Homeschooling your kids to the best of your abilities, makes you an amazing mom.
It isn’t easy. It isn’t always pretty. But you have dived in and are doing this thang.
Keep up the amazing work, you precious little genius of a mama.
You totally got this!
…And need this mug to remind yourself.
So which homeschool mom mug are you? 😉
Tiffany
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