“You have three children like stair steps in ages!” Says the jolly, beautiful, elderly women scanning our gardening supplies at Wallie world.
“My daughter has triplets. Three at once. You better thank your lucky stars they came one by one!” She chuckles.
I smile, force a laugh, and take my three “stair-step” children to the car. The sweet check out lady doesn’t know that I would gladly take three babies at once. You see, we would have been getting ready to deliver our fourth baby if things had worked out according to our feeble, hopeful plans. Three babies would feel like winning the motherhood lottery, when you can’t get pregnant at all.
Let me back up a bit.
When God first called me to blog, I figured I would write about all things pregnancy and maternity related. I have an unrelenting passion for all things maternity and childbirth, and happen to have a past involving both awful and amazing birth experiences.
One outmatched blog, health issues, and a few years later, we are considered to have “infertility” without a known cause. We have been desperately trying to get pregnant for 10 long months, to no avail. The thing I couldn’t shut up about for the past seven years of motherhood now hurts to utter. A reminder of what we deeply desire but have to ever remain waiting to attain.
So, if you find yourself outmatched by infertility – overcome by the monthly, heart-wrenching disappointment: here is a list of Bible truths that are a balm to my waiting heart.
1) You aren’t the first person God has seen through infertility. I know there is a feeling of lonliness and isolation that comes from experiencing infertility, and it is easy to forget that we aren’t the only one who has ever walked through this. Remember Abraham and Sarah? They were promised a baby, but Sarah laughed in unbelief. God waited until his perfect timing to deliver on His promise. God is waiting for the perfect time for you (and me!) as well.
2) Crying out to God in the mist of heartache, doesn’t make you less Godly; it makes you human. In fact, He tells us to cry out to him and bring our needs and desires to Him. Sometimes crying out makes me feel like a failure. Like my toddler who tried to scale the counter. He did his best but got stuck, and needed rescuing.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philipians 4:6
3) He can be trusted. Pour out your heart before him, as He is your refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah Psalms 62:8
4) Sometimes God closes wombs, but He always has a better plan in mind. Remember the story of Hannah? The LORD closed her womb. Not the enemy, not her rival “sister wife” who taunted her for her inability to have children, but the GOD who made her and loves her. She knew who to cry out to, when her heart was broken. Her maker saw her struggles, heard her cries, and gave her Samuel. You remember, the prophet and judge of Israel? God waited for the right time, all the while preparing Hannah to give her son back to the Lord.
5) He uses ALL things for your good and His glory, even infertility and the pain found in the waiting. Everything you have ever struggled with, He will use for your good and His glory. But did you catch your responsibility for these amazing outcomes? You have to be called according to His purpose! When you submit EVERYTHING to Him, and live according to His purpose – you are able to say, “Not my will, but yours Lord.”
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
5) Whatever the cost, not my will but Yours oh Lord. At the end of the day, in whatever we are facing – He is in control. We can rest in His sovereignty. We can trust that He is fully in control, and fully good in ALL things; even amongst the trials we face. He stands with us in the flames and feels your heartache. He is our refuge and our strength. He gives joy even in the sorrows. Rest in Him.
Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy. John 16:20
Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalms 30:5b
Keep your faith, be still and know where your help comes from! Use this period of waiting to cover all the steps you take AND your future child in prayer. I am praying for you too!
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Tiffany
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